Whom have I in heaven but you?   Leave a comment

Whom have I in heaven but you?

Whom have I in heaven but you?

Then I realized that my heart was bitter,and I was all torn up inside.I was so foolish and ignorant I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.Yet I still belong to you;you hold my right hand.You guide me with your counsel,leading me to a glorious destiny.Whom have I in heaven but you?I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,but God remains the strength of my heart;he is mine forever.” Ps 73:21-26

The psalmist mentions that his heart was bitter and torn up inside, he was foolish, ignorant and like a beast. This is perhaps your story. I was foolish and ignorant about Christ. I questioned Him and what He said. I did not believe He was God and my whole existence did not have stability until I came to know Him. You’ve perhaps messed up in your past or people grieved you so much that you became bitter and like a beast. You’ve perhaps tried to dissolve your past through drugs/alcohol but it still haunts you. Or you’re perhaps this person who refuses love and reject people because you fear of being rejected. You’re ready to do all kind of stupid things to try to prove that you’ve some worth. You don’t have to do this.

Life has not been kind to you and your broken heart has been bruised over and over.  You fear to trust because so many people abused and deceived you. Life circumstances made you bitter, torn you inside and made you like an untamed wild beast. Even your friends, if you have some, find it difficult to control you. You have asked yourself : “Is this really how I should live?”

Could there be a beautiful ending to your story?

On my quest for the truth I met with this Jesus I have been belittling. Like Paul, scales fell down from my eyes and I bowed down to my knees and acknowledged His sovereignty. God allowed me to take this road where I was questioning Jesus’ ministry. It is indescribable how little by little the Holy Spirit came to teach me about the Son of God whom I was rejecting. God has been very patient with my ignorance. I do not deserve that God took so much time to reveal the Son to me. I’m overwhelmed by God’s patience.

If you’ll grant me some few minutes, I would like to say that I have found it. I have found this crazy missing part. Jesus is the One who satisfies my heart and my whole existence. Eureka!

You’ve perhaps not been a criminal or a “great sinner” but you’ll probably agree with me that you’re not entirely satisfied in your heart. Your job, daily, wealth and hobbies are not enough to satisfy you. What my job, family and friends could not give me I found it in Jesus. My job tried to give me security but I still feared. Jesus is my security.

My family tried to bestow love on me but they could not meet all my needs. Jesus knows even the needs I’m not aware of.

Friends failed to give me wise counsels for they were as foolish as me. Jesus’ teachings had the exact answers to my questions.

I now have real love, joy, peace, security and granted divine wisdom. What can a human being ask more? My intellect is at peace. My soul is satisfied and my heart is one of the happiest. There’re many things that I no longer worry about because I know in whom I have believed (2 Tim 1:12) and I am persuaded that He is able make my life story end beautifully. I have committed my whole life to Him. I trust Him. If He asks me to leave my job, I will. If He asks me to leave my country, I will. I want to obey Him because I’m persuaded that whatever He asks me to do is the best thing to do.

When I was single, I said to Jesus: “My Good Lord, grant me a wife who will not hinder my walk with you. Otherwise, do not allow me to marry for I would like to love you more than anyone else. Let nothing stand between you and I

God really takes us at word.This prayer to God is “risky” because I wanted to get married but I knew that I’ll not be happy if my wife hindered my relationship with Jesus.  God has been good to me and I can see in many areas in my life His thumbprints. I will not recant, I will not trade my intimacy with Christ for anything or anyone else. I have searched and did some thorough analysis and could not find a chunk of satisfaction in philosophy and intellectualism. I cannot compare Christ with anything or anyone else.  Jesus guides my steps and counsels me perfectly.

I shouted to God in my heart: “Tell me God, Whom have I in heaven but you? Is there someone I love more than you? If so tell me. Is there something I love more than you? If so, tell me. It’s you I love with all my being, you know that”

I know that money, wealth, social rank, people, sexual gratification or worldly things will never be able to satisfy my expectations.

To all perfection I see a limit, but your commands are boundless.” Ps 119:96

The psalmist says: “I desire you more than anything on earth” To all perfections on this earth I have seen a limit. But I have found someone who far exceeded my expectations. He is perfect. My family, friends and even my wife will fail. People are not perfect and we cannot expect them to behave perfectly. Am I not an imperfect man like everyone else? Man’s heart longs for something perfect to satisfy his soul. Only Jesus can bring this utmost satisfaction.

Will you believe me if I tell you that I do not fear to die? I have such a great peace in my heart and dying is not the end but just the start of a new life with my Lord. The psalmist says: “My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,but God remains the strength of my heart;he is mine forever”. I have never been sick to death but I can feel somehow what the psalmist said. Sickness and life catastrophe will not remove Davd’s inner peace in God. God is the strength of his heart – not his health, wealth or anything else. God is his inheritance and his wealth. Jesus is all I need. In Him alone I’ll boast for I know who He is and what He can do.

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